This Sunday (Father's Day, June 15th, 2008) Hannah was asked to give a "talk" with Family being the subject. She was nervous as it had been seven years since she had given a talk in Church. I was really proud of her; and she received many accolades for her talk. Below is the text of the speech. Let us know your thoughts...
Good morning Brothers & Sisters and Happy Father’s Day to all that are dads!
I have been asked to talk today about the family. When I started preparing this talk I had a difficult time trying to decide what elements of the family I wanted to discuss; so I chose a few that I thought were very important to me. The three things that I have chosen to cover are:
1. The Family is the center of Heavenly Father’s plan.
2. Worldly influences on the Family.
3. What Family means to me and what my role is in my family.
I know that the Family is the center of Heavenly Father’s Plan. President Gordon B. Hinckley had prophesized the attempts to erode the structure of the family when he offered the Church’s official stance on what family is and the roles that we play in Heavenly Fathers’ plan in “The Family, A Proclamation to the World” at a general Relief Society meeting in 1995. There are a few things in the proclamation that I want to touch on.
In the proclamation it was declared that that marriage is “between a man and a woman and is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” Lately there have been many attempts in our society to dissolve this belief and has become a political hot topic. The enemy would have us believe that this is not an issue and that it is okay to allow this sacred covenant to be destroyed. We should always work very hard to not be drawn in to believing that any other type of marriage is part of HIS plan.
I also like the instruction that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”
One way that Satan tries to destroy the structure of the family is by introducing worldly influences in an attempt to divide the family against itself. Each member of the family experiences their own set of worldly challenges. Kids today experience peer pressure unlike any that we have ever seen. It has become increasingly more difficult for teens, and even now, pre-teens to steer clear of drinking, sex, drugs, pornography and bad video games (whatever happened to the days of Ms. Pac-Man?). Advertising depicts sin as glamorous, Nike says “Just Do It”; “IT” being whatever that person chooses. TV shows depict a world where non-traditional families are the norm. But these are just outlets for people who are feeling lost, negative or don’t see that they have a lot of value within their families. It can be hard to stay strong when many around you are choosing those bad things. So, just remember the primary lesson to “Choose the Right”; after all, what would be a better way to honor your Father and Mother than by doing what is good in Heavenly Father’s eyes.
Parents experience stress in trying to provide for their family in a day and age where that seems to be getting tougher all of the time. It is getting harder to find the proper “work/life” balance because we are trying to meet all of the demands of work, home and Church. Jesus teaches of this in Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Mammon being greed or riches). The first things parents tend to cut out when they are tired and stressed is Church. It is easier for some to go to the water park or go shopping on Sunday because they don’t have time to do it any other day. The next thing parents tend to do is cut into family time. You are opening a door for Satan to enter into your home by not setting aside time for your family. The “wants” of everyday life can sometimes tempt us to let our guard down, but if we do, he is waiting eagerly for us to slip up so he can jump in and tear apart our families.
Negativity is one of the worst things that we can allow to enter into our homes. Be optimistic; share good cheer within your family. Don’t teach your children to look at the proverbial glass as being half-full; teach them that it is full. Heavenly Father only wants what is absolutely best for us, not what is mediocre. This mindset will help your family look beyond these worldly influences; because we know that there is an eternal promise; this is something the enemy cannot offer to families, which is why he breaks down the individual.
The best thing we have as a family is we can rely on each other when one of us is feeling weaker hopefully someone else is feeling strong so we can use that strength as well as prayer to get us through our hard time. [If it were me (Tony) writing this I would refer to Ronald Reagan talking frequently about “peace through strength”. I would note that a strong family bond maintains a higher level of peace within the home. That strength would also build a formidable defense against worldly influences; but that’s just my line of thinking…]
Growing up, I would watch some of my siblings struggle, or I myself would struggle with worldly influences; but we always knew that one of the other siblings, who was stronger at that time would be supportive of the one having a hard time and remind them that they didn’t think they should be hanging out with the wrong kind of people or going to that kind of party. Gratefully there always seems to be someone who is strong enough at the time to point the other person in the right direction. The Holy Ghost is working through that other person on our behalf to get the message across. That is also the great thing about family, they are not afraid to tell you the truth and say I think you are making bad decisions. At least they aren’t in my family.
So, what does family mean to me and what is my place in it?
In the proclamation it talks about a Husband and Wife rearing their children. Ideally that is the perfect family and I think it is what most people want and strive to have. But unfortunately we all have different challenges and trials here on earth and not all of us will get the desires of our hearts filled while we are here. So family to me means many other things. Many people move away from the extended family and consider their ward to be their family. Others may be aunts and uncles that have no children of their own but take an active role in their nieces and nephews lives.
Before Tony and I had Nicholas we were unsure if we would be able to have kids and as painful as that thought was we had to start thinking about if that doesn’t happen what does Heavenly Father want us to be doing then. I truly believe if there is something that you are missing in your life then it is either not your time quite yet or Heavenly Father is trying to steer you to something else that will fulfill you. So we did what most couple’s do that are struggling to have children, we got a puppy. We got Lily (our little, very needy wiener dog) so we had a little someone in the house to take care of. We also decided to enjoy having all of this time as a couple that some people don’t get. We feel very blessed to have Nicholas now and are very grateful for his presence in our home and I wouldn’t change that; but at the same time we still know that for some reason we needed to wait for this blessing. There were things we needed to learn first. I think we will now be better parents because of it. We created a great foundation in our marriage so that when kids arrived we were ready as a couple to take on that challenge.
I also thought that since I was not a Mom yet I was still a part of a family. I was a Daughter, a Sister, an Aunt and a Wife. I still had a lot of roles to fill and ways that I could be a help to my family. It can be easy to look at only what you don’t have or what you aren’t yet; but when you look at what you have already sometimes you aren’t as empty as you think.
I look at my Mom who I know would love to have a loving man in her life and how it would be so nice to have someone to do things with and to help with the general upkeep of maintaining a home. But, I am proud of her because I feel like instead of being angry about it she is now realizing there might be a reason for it and looking to herself to get stronger and enjoy the things she does have. I think she is getting to point where if it happens it would still be a very welcomed thing in her life, but if it doesn’t she is finding other ways to be happy. She feels very blessed to have six kids who love her and 17 grandkids (and one on the way. Not mine). Even though she is divorced the blessings of her children and grandchildren lives on because of that initial union.
I encourage every one to cherish the roles they have in the families that you are apart of and continue to nurture them. Even if you don’t have what you see as the “perfect family situation in your life” you are important to many people and have the ability to influence many around you. I thought when you grow up you get married have kids, have your dream house vacation at least once a year and that is life; however, I was a little delusional on how easy that would be. So enjoy the families that you have and don’t put too many stipulations on them and you will learn to enjoy what you do have more.
Because the family unit is so important it is obvious why it would be attacked. If you can break down the family then you break down the best support system people can have. Without support or a feeling of belonging to something people don’t always feel the strength or want to feel the strength to say no to certain temptations. Feeling alone is one of the most dangerous feelings someone can have, in my mind, because that opens you up to feeling weak and possibly easier to tempt. Read, understand and teach each other “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. And understand your role within your own family and Heavenly Father’s family and know that it is very important.
And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
